They call me Jane. That’s not my name. That’s not my name.

I have officially been living in Moscow for a week now! And boy does this past week feel like a year. And a half. Give or take a few days. It’s crazy to think that a week ago I didn’t know where I’d be living, hadn’t started classes yet, had absolutely NO idea how the metro worked and was horrified by the thought of it, and couldn’t order food to save my life. That last one is still a struggle fest, but I have definitely come a long way since getting off the plane last Friday.

That being said, in a week I have experienced things about this country I like and things that are definitely going to take some getting used to. During orientation they showed us a diagram of a rollercoaster-looking scenario titled “culture shock.” It starts with elation and excitement and drops down to shock and discomfort and goes up and down pretty much forever. There’s even reverse culture shock for when you go back home. This week I have gone up and down so many times from feeling like “This place is awesome! I can’t believe I’m here!” to “This place is terrifying! What am I doing here?” But then there’s so much random English everywhere sometimes I forget I left home altogether.

The following list is not meant to be a negative one. These are just some things I have noticed or experienced within the past week that will require some adjustment:

1. Lack of toilet paper everywhere. Also lack of toilet seats.
2. Ordering food and not being understood (or saying anything for that matter and not being understood)
3. Not understanding what’s being said. For instance, my host sister talks really fast. And loud. But mostly just fast. During dinner I just sit quietly and every once in a while I think they remember I’m there and they ask if I understand. Of course I don’t. I wouldn’t understand an American speaking English that fast!
4. The smell of BO that constantly permeates the air.
5. The fact that I feel like I stick out as a foreigner all the time (especially when I open my mouth). I accidentally said ‘sorry’ on the metro the other day instead of the Russian term ‘izvinitye’ and the look of shock from the guy as he was exiting and the stares I got for the rest of the ride were unbearable. Pretty sure the babushka next to me tried scooting away.
6. A new hyper-awareness of dirt and germs. Especially in the metro. You can seriously feel the germs cling to you as the doors open and the humidity created by the crowd of people seeps out. Also grabbing a handrail, which is inevitable, is incredibly disgusting when you stop to think about how many non-handwashers have held onto the same spot.
7. Constant thirst. Since we can’t really drink the water, we have to buy bottled water, which depending on where you get it can be kind of expensive. Tea is usually the cheaper option, but isn’t a great thirst quencher. Also seltzer water is really popular. But that stuff just gives me mad burps and then leaves me with more thirst than I started with. No thank you.  
8. The fact that Russians get way too close to you. This morning there were like three people on the metro and some guy comes in and sits in the seat right next to me. Practically on top of me. In Russia this isn’t seen as strange as it is in the US, where we looove our personal space. I miss my personal space.
9. Spending a lot of time on the metro. Which means spending a lot of time with smelly old guys, babushkas, Russian hipsters, overly gropey couples, men wearing strangely fitting exercise pants (its an epidemic!), businessmen distracted by their ipads, stiletto sluts, cranky children, and your run-of-the-mill-hooligans. There are some normal people in there too I guess, but they aren’t as interesting to watch.
10. And finally, I can’t tell if my host family forgot my name already or if they think it’s a nickname, but they’ve started calling me Jane. That’s not my name.